梦里花的颜色

    For the past several weeks.i’ve made a branch of friends on tagged.some of them were very nice and interesting. and i found it’s easy to chat freely with them about various of issues and also i found there’s much to learn from them. In this way, i find renren doller and doller.

    Like Brian from UK, who owns his own studio and business at the age of 23. That’s quite amazing!and Gen L from France, who’s been travelling for many years and he can even cook chuancai. And Jon from New York, who started to work at the age of 17 and has finished his college at the same time, what’s more, he grows up in a poor neighbourhood and becomes a very nice and highly-qualified person. and also Garen from Hong Kong, i can talk freely with him about anything. He’s a good listener.

    What’s more, i found my english improved a bit. now i can use it more descently, that’s a progress needing to be cheered for. but meanwhile, there’s still a lot of work left to be done, which made me not able to freely enjoy the joy. Guilty tortured me. and i felt depressed and stressed as well as excited at the same time.

    Whatever, since the final exam is drawing near. i should pay more attention to my study. not only english. GPA is also important. Anyway, i can’t enjoy the joy with depression on my other subjects and stress on finishing them. And i don’t wanna trade my joy for guily.

    So just carry on. goodbye internet. goodbye tagged. goodbye renren. i know i’ll miss you. So long as i overcome the miss can i succeed in what i truly want.

    So see you later~

    thanks to the H1N1,our activities have been put off termlessly.so i gladly enjoyed another comfortable week.but freshing back what i’ve done.i feel terribly depressed.cause it seems that even though i don’t have to worry about planing and attracting auspicious.i still can’t finish much more.that should be blamed to me.cause i went home tuesday noon skiping two class,L&S and reading.even though we can’t get much reasonable information when we take the courses.controdictary…what am i doing?!and tursday i went qk library to study with zz.we talked about sth about the toefl test and some interesting places in qd.i never though such a quiet girl like her would like to go to bars.and she said a club named feeling near the book city is very fun.we may spend a whole night there.sounds crazy ah?but i like it.we made a deal to try sometime.and she also suggested me to attend an interpretering class which she is now attending.she explained some details to me.so this sunday. i went there.

    the teacher is experienced and i feel the class is special cause people from all kinds of identities come here to study.some of them may have already passed the cet4&cet6 tests which i still have to wait utill the end of this academic year……damn it!i feel i can’t easily handle the translation even though i have confidence in my oral english.whatever i’ve been practising that for one year and at the same time sort of relying on that to reach some achievements.anyway the class seems challengable to me.WANG the teacher said we should own a vocabulary of 10,000.which didn’t scare.on the contrary.it inspired me.i like the word professine.and i’m glad i finally do sth related to that word^___^

    last week.an interesting email came from a web called tagged.due to curiousity i clicked it but as a result giving rise to a disaster.so many letter then crazily flow into my hotmail inbox as a speed of 20~30 mails a day.that’s crazy.i spent my yesterday a whole day to cooradinate them as well as downloading a msn(though i had it before but not fond of using that).after all i met some friends there but not all of them are fascinating.some even kind of disturb me.whatever i have to clean up the unsensable thoughts and focus on my study.don’t you think you’ve been busy and massy enough?do you still have time and energy to get involved in some silly issue?unbelievable!sober up!young lady!

   oh my god!oh my god!i can’t be like this anymore.i have to do sth reasonable.i have to be organised and clean-headed.i am going to make plans.i am going to achieve them step by step.i am not going to be massy anymore.i am defined to be succeed in the end so i have to actually do sth related to the way to succeed.

   that’s it!all in all.do not operate like this week anymore!

    这一周是收获的一周，同时也是不在状态的一周，托H1N1的福，总算终于有点时间可以安静地上会儿自习，furthermore，选修课也不上了，总算也不用再struggle with电脑版PS那个脑残的反应了。安静的自习室，改建后高大的空间，天窗映出的满天繁星……环境还是很舒适的，只是不知是不是太久没有静下心来的缘故，脑子总是跟不上节拍，虽然每天能有两个小时的时间自习，但是效率却不怎么高……很是不爽……

    由于不用搞活动了，终于也有时间和ZZ一起实践一下我们的USA计划，周三她邀我去青科图书馆，真是modern与气派，巨大的落地窗，一排排长长的自习桌，而且最棒的是没有占位的，而且人也不是很多，大厅还有围着圆柱的小木椅和沙发自习区，真是难以想象，竟然还有沙发！！!不知道比我们要好上多少倍，不禁感叹：Is this heaven?听ZZ说还有乒乓球室和琴房，让我想起了一条马路之隔的二中，那个我们曾经挥斥方遒的地方，曾经我们也是这么不食人间烟火地“高尚”着……

    那晚的效率还是不是很高，晚上回来有些YM，就找人聊天，没想到更YM了。那句话还是很有道理的：心情不好的时候就闭紧嘴，不然会更郁闷……

    周四终于可以去书城，上周办海报+商量策划弄到那么晚，害得我都没去成，发现一个周没看《年华似水》就让我那么不安，可见小资生活对我的吸引力……由于玲玲临时有事，这次便成了我独自思考与享受的旅程。去麦凯乐七楼品尝的小吃，顺便逛了下VERO MODE，发现我喜欢的那件毛衣还在，而且又看好了一件羽绒服，白色紧身的设计，大理石表面的扣子，还有灰褐色挺立的毛毛衣领，发现有钱真好，这辈子一定不能委屈了自己……到七楼新建的水池旁品尝着独具风味的水晶灌汤虾饺，惬意地不行，哦哈哈~结果太激动了，咬了一口虾饺，汤全都喷到裤子上，还是很开心~大笑的时候，帅帅的保安一直往这看，估计是疑惑我脑子是不是乐坏了，哈哈！然后便是书城负一层，原先坐的楼梯被人占了，就挪到了中间的大槐树【fake】下，没想到却更惬意~旁边的女生在看《千夫一指》笑得花枝乱颤，看着我也跟着乐~哈哈！自拍了几张，还蛮可爱~这次看的一段《年华似水》比较郁闷，然后发现不论什么阶层什么生活的人，其实都一样寂寞和无奈，心理平衡了许多。书上说，其实“小资”就等同于“穷人”。不知道是什么意思。不知不觉就到8：30，这应该算是我一这一周最惬意的时刻了~！出来走在香港中路的大街上，雾蒙蒙的天空把平日里耀武扬威的高楼大厦笼罩了起来，路灯也泛着柔和的光彩，突然很庆幸我生在青岛，这么美的地方我以前竟然没有用心留意，并且在日渐变得干练、时尚，富有情调，也许等我真正长大的时候，它已经变得比上海还要迷人，到时候我就更舍不得离开了……

    每次我来书城，回去的路上都能路过一个躺着乞讨的老人，现在天气渐渐冷了，他还这么躺着，那些家人都干什么去了！社会福利又都干什么去了！给他钱的时候，他冲我点点头，突然就想到了姥爷，鼻子一酸就不忍再看，两年了，不知道你过得好不好……

    内心饱满而充实地回去了，不想太早睡，就借来室友的电脑看了一部电影，名字叫做《返老还童》，据说是奥斯卡的提名影片，是一个老太太在垂暮之时倒序的形式，通过他爱人的日记，讲述了一个生下来就衰老，却外表随年龄变年轻的人的一生，有点像阿甘正传，但却充满了伤感，尤其是那一句话，当养老院的一个老妇人听说benjemin是越活越年轻的时候，她说;“我为你感到很遗憾，你要看着身边的人一一离去，没有什么是永恒的，所以才更加要珍惜身边拥有的一切。”最终，他以一个婴儿的外型死在了自己爱人的怀里，电影末了，老太太说：“Goodnight,benjiemin!”就像他们一直那样互道晚安，然后，也最终闭上了双眼……可恶的是，尽管影片这么感人，我却说不出什么，只是有很多模棱两可的感觉堵在心里……晚上和YXF交流，他说我现在应该是进入了饱和期，由于大脑长时间在紧张环境下运作进入了疲乏期，所以进不去东西，我想也是，也许简单放松一下也好，人们不能一直狂奔，也要停下来回味回味，思考思考，才会知道什么才是有意义~

    IGO梦想计划我进入了第三轮，明天下午在颐中假日皇冠酒店有个国际教育展+对我们的面试，不管结果怎样，能去张长见识，对我的USA计划也是有益的~嗯~加油！CONTINUE TO FIGHTING~!

    周五看了一集《拜托小姐》，那里面的服饰和妆容还真是不错，虽然有点抄袭《穿PRADA的女王》的感觉~很喜欢里面的李泰伦，那种潇洒的气质和笑起来干净的感觉~

    就先到这吧，希望状态能尽快回归~最后鸣谢谢谢堵邦先生，这首《Au Parc》的背景音乐真不错~

    不知道该怎么落笔，昨晚的纳新直到九点多，在人很多的地方呆了很久，头晕乎乎的，不知道是不是过于敏感的缘故，心里不是很舒服，面试的人中，优秀的心高气傲，诚恳的能力一般，发现90后的普遍特点——太喜欢把自己当回事。要知道，从60个面试者中选出15个，主动权根本不在你们那里，换句话说，并不是你们在选择我们，而是我们在选择你们，如果你们想加入只是为了你们自己的话，大可以去参加活动就可以了，没必要成为我们的干事。我们关心的是你能为这个部门带来什么，而不是怎样培养你们，那都是你们自己的事，别那么搞不清概念……

    学习本来初见成效，但又因为大大小小的事给耽搁了，开始考虑值不值得，但又不能放下不管，因为身边有个野心家，也可能是我太敏感，有些事上还是感觉怪怪的，whatever~screw them up~别整天把精力放在这些上面！focus on your work!发展才是硬道理！把工作做好了，自然没有人敢不服你，更何况现在部长最器重的还是你，只要拿出专业精神，精准且诚恳，你一定会在你的岗位上有所建树，加油！

    昨晚，在有些难过的时候，突然有点寂寞，无风无浪的时候，我可以独立无所畏惧，但失落的时候，我也渴望有一个知己可以谈心，可以容忍我的小失态，可以包容我的小抱怨，理解我的小邪恶，就像《summer&fall》里唱的那样，是不是太贪心了？“忙的时候别烦我，难过的时候就必须陪在我身边……”也有点霸道自私了，也许没有这么个人也挺好，可以有更多的时间思考，总之，life is complicated!!

    应该是冰心说过的吧“May there be enough clouds in your sky to make a beautiful sunset”，说得很美~这些或喜或忧的经历不正是我们生命中的彩云吗？用力往远了想，至少等我老了，这些经历也可以让我有不少照片可以翻~哈哈！